


Hold Me Tight

by KingKiller



Series: after the burning (embers left behind) [2]
Category: Kingsman: The Secret Service (2015)
Genre: Angst, Attempt to be Smutty, BDSM, Canon-Typical Violence, Depression, Dirty Talk, Dominance, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eye Trauma, F/M, Feral Behavior, Fix-It, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Major Character Injury, Mildly Dubious Consent, Oblivious Harry, Permanent Injury, Pirate Harry, Possessive Behavior, Pregnancy Kink, Recovery, Self-Worth Issues, Smutty, Submission, Valentine's Sim Cards do woonky shit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-22
Updated: 2015-05-22
Packaged: 2018-03-31 09:51:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,155
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3973636
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KingKiller/pseuds/KingKiller
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The dynamics between he and Eggsy had changed. And Harry doesn't even know how to describe "how" it had.</p><p>Continuation of "Gentle"</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hold Me Tight

**Author's Note:**

> This is a continuation of "Gentle," knock yourself out if you want to read this before the other but idk if it will much sense without the other portion.
> 
> Also the BDSM is more of a primal kind of aspect, you'll see  
> And first complete smut so be kind!

0.

(00 Days : 01 Hours : 45 Minutes : 21 Seconds since he was taken)

The nylon on his wrists had torn them bloody, but he had to keep trying. His glasses had been lost in the scuffle as they had dragged him through the alley way. Whenever Harry shifted against the rickety chair he could feel the caked mud on his suit. All he could see with his one eye was that he was in a dark warehouse, the squeals of rats echoed in the cavernous darkness.

God he had been a fool.  _Arthur needs security detail_ , Merlin and Eggsy had told him repeatedly.  _People will target you more as head of Kingsmen_.

But Harry had blustered, pride raging through his veins, accent sharp as diamond,  _I was an agent before and therefore more than adequate to care for myself._

His pride had gotten him here now.

He had left Eggsy, laying in their bed after  _Eggsy had pressed him into the sheets, Harry moaning like a two-bit whore, screaming when Eggsy dug his nails into him, biting his neck to show Harry **exactly who he belonged to--** **  
**_

God, Harry had been so ashamed that he had left their bed, sure that Eggsy was asleep, to go to a bar. To drink his problems away.

They had gotten him just a block away from their home and in his haste to leave their house he had only taken his glasses. ( _Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!_ )

The bastards had already stolen his eyepatch making him more cantankerous of the whole endeavor. But he couldn't deny that there was an effect from removing his eyepatch. His hands were shaking so severally they appeared as if they were having a seizure. Harry could only watch as if his limbs were detached from him, belonging to someone else. Humiliation coursed through him, to be so obviously  _weak_.

But they had taken his eyepatch.  _Eggsy had given him that eyepatch_.

He felt so naked. Darkness swam at the corners of his eyes, if felt as if an anchor was sitting squarely on his chest wanting him to sink, sink, sink down under. He swallowed harshly, tried to breathe more calmly. Harry could  _not_ pass out.

Blinking harshly to get the sweat out of his eyes, although it was freezing and he could see the frost of his breathes in the twilight, he let his nails bite into the soft skin of hands to suppress their shaking. The click of shoes was coming closer. A bucket of water sloshed beside him.

1.

(86 Days : 23 Hours : 10 Minutes : 22 Seconds since he's been shot

 13 Days : 11 Hours : 54 Minutes : 06 Seconds before he will be taken)

Harry threaded through the  _The Daily Telegraph_.

Many of the side effects of Valentine's SIM cards are apparent after V-Day, as so many begin to call it. To Harry there are three that are glaringly obvious:

1) Many of the heads of states are dead. In fact, many ceremonies were continuing world wide in celebration and morning for these leaders. Harry felt sick whenever he saw the headlines celebrating those betrayers. 

2) Harry's eye is one of the many claimed by death in the chaos on V-Day.

3) The dynamics between he and Eggsy had _changed_. Harry knew that was what happened after partners told each other "I love you."

After becoming Galahad at the tender age of 18, Harry had never had the time to have a  _sincere_ romantic relations.

Everything with Eggsy for him was like stepping onto an uncharted beach. At the forty-six, admittedly he may have not aged like the finest wine, he was finally experiencing domesticity.

With a healthy dose of sex of course.

Harry ran hot whenever he witnessed how Eggsy seemed to be unable to get enough of him. After the first time they laid together, he couldn't quite call it "making love" without feeling like smoke was coming out of his ears, Eggsy still couldn't keep his hands off of him.

And outside of the sheets he was always the perfect gentlemen. Eggsy would wake him in the morning with a kiss and breakfast tray filled to bursting. Together they would eat in bed, Harry shaking the crumbs out the sheets after. During work he would sit with Harry for a hour of lunch and later half an hour for tea and biscuits. Finally at the end of the day Eggsy would pressure him to put the paper work down, mainly by throwing a knife through it to pin it to the table, and bundle him in the car.

Nights were Harry's favorite times with Eggsy. Even if after making dinner together it was spent with Eggsy playing _Call of Duty_ on his Xbox while Harry read a book, commenting on the needless brutality of the game given what they did on a daily basis. Eggsy would make sure to have Harry's feet in his lap and Harry smiled whenever Eggsy brushed his fingers against the soft skin on the inside of Harry's ankle. 

Eggsy would even assist Harry when he was having his "bad days." When Harry's hand were shaking too hard and he felt like he was dipping to the right all the time. Eggsy would place Harry's hand into the crease of his elbow or placing a broad hand at the dip of his back to guide him without comment.

It wasn't until last night when Eggsy had discovered Harry's vinyl's did he truly notice the new differences in their body language.

Harry, buzzed from the red wine, was carefully washing the dishes in the kitchen after Eggsy had made them an . . . interesting bolognese he learned from his Kingsmen training ( _A Gentleman knows how to entertain)._

The first notes of  _The Way You Look Tonight_ by Frank Sinatra began to filter in from the living room. Placing a plate of the leftovers on the floor for JB he quickly moved to finish his task, curiosity sparking. Efficiently drying the last dish and his hands Harry folded the apron as he went to Eggsy.

He grinned, "I see you found my vinyl."

Eggsy gave an impish grin from where he was crouched by the mint-condition turntable and shelf full of LPs. Getting up with enviable ease he sauntered over to Harry. Harry let him approach and gave a startled laugh when Eggsy suddenly grabbed at him playfully, movements obvious and loose.

Eggsy gently, but firmly, pulled Harry close. Passively, Harry let him.

Eggsy's hands slid onto his hips, Eggsy's breathe brushed against his left ear, "Dance with me, love."

Harry tried to put on a stern tone, "Well, now would be the time to see how just how well your training has been going."

Eggsy's eyes sparked at the challenge.

"Darling." Harry couldn't help but gasp as Eggsy nipped at his ear lob, "be careful with your words." Eggsy's hand ran along the side of Harry's chest, dragging his fingertips up Harry's arm. Seizing his hand Eggsy brought it to his lips to kiss. "You might get burned one of these days."

Then Eggsy's arms constricted around him, bring him flush against his chest. Harry twitched at feeling the heat of a youthful body against his. With no protest Harry let him take the lead.

" _Here is nothing for me but to love you,_ " Eggsy crooned against his ear, soft lips dancing on them. " _And the way you look tonight._ "

Harry felt high as he laughed in delight as Eggsy weaved them around the coffee tables and chairs. Completely letting Eggsy take control of this dance, he let himself be moved and manipulated at Eggsy's whim. At the end of the song Eggsy spun him in an embellished twirl. Harry, chuckling, collapsed against Eggsy.

"Never anything you cannot do, Eggsy, is there?" Harry breathed. Noticing JB patiently waiting by the corner of the rug, he untangled himself from Eggsy. "Oh, I need to let the poor dear out."

Absently Harry went to the patio door, at the click of the bullet-proof doors JB race out past his ankles. The buzz still burning bright in his bones he giggled as he closed the door to go to the living room.

But suddenly a hand grasped his chin, another palming his arse. Swiftly he was pushed against the glass. Flight and fight responses were firing in his synapses as he raised his arms, ready to fight. Instinctively trying to break out the of grip on his face, he opened his mouth to yell when a tongue delved into his mouth.

At the taste of beer, Eggsy's beer, he froze.

Recognition shot through him and without him thinking of it his body laxed. _Submitted_. There was a growl of approval and Harry felt elated, a thrum in him better than any wine, as he let his legs be spread and the body hefted his legs around his waist. The hand on his jaw released him to slither down his body and grab his arse and press him against hardness. Hands rocked his hips against hot cock and he began to  _ache_.

"Eggsy," he gasped.

And Harry isn't sure but he thought he may have heard Eggsy reply, " _Mine,_ " before found himself was thrown onto the coach.

Harry will ponder later why he let Eggsy take such control of him. How before the Valentine's bullet he would have fought Eggsy, flipped him over and make Eggsy be the one begging. But as Eggsy's fingers rubbed against his hole he can only feel this odd urge to present his neck to Eggsy. He'll remember how Eggsy eclipsed the moon shining into their living room as he bruisingly held his hips and made Harry _take him_ as he rutted into him.

Harry didn't tell him to slow down or to be gentle or slow. No, Harry only moaned, feeling electrified as Eggsy's teeth dug into his collarbone.

He passes out when Eggsy takes him a third time.

Harry wakes up the next morning with pressed against his back and a arm wrapped firmly around him. Harry was tucked between the couch and Eggsy. Harry's body trembles when he feels the how deep Eggsy's essence is inside him.

He doesn't feel disgusted or horrified, he feels  _wanted, loved_ , and most importantly _owned._

This is Harry's first indication that there is something possibly wrong.

2.

(88 Days : 15 Hours : 52 Minutes : 28 Seconds since he's been shot

 11 Days : 07 Hours : 39 Minutes : 41 Seconds before he will be taken)

Harry watches the news.

_"--As reported here on CNN Europe, Dr. Haversham, head of researching the side effects of the late Richmond Valentine's SIM cards, says there seem to be more side effects that are lasting beyond V-Day. His research finds that there seems to raised aggression and testosterone levels in almost approximately 50% of the population still. Now he wants to assure the public that there is no reason to be afraid of these people. In fact many local facilities are attempting to help survivors with anger management classes._

_Thank you, Cassidy. Now to San Francisco  where the BDSM lifestyle isn't just for readers of Fifty Shades of _   _Grey_ _anymore! Apparently more and more people are identifying with--"_ _  
_

He shuts the television off.

3.

(88 Days : 23 Hours : 01 Minutes : 37 Seconds since he's been shot

 11 Days : 09 Hours : 54 Minutes : 32 Seconds before he will be taken)

The nightmares had been calming down. But there are still times when he suggests to Eggsy that perhaps he should restrain Harry in sleep.

Harry didn't live almost twenty years of his life as a sitting duck after all. Night terrors are very much a reason he had more or less lived a solitary lifestyle. Why he had expected to die alone. The fear of hurting someone he loved is all too great a possibility. Before in the quiet of the midnight, whether it was moonless or even between his own sheets, he had admitted to himself that perhaps being a bachelor was for the best.

He believed in his own words until that call had come from a small, unnoteable police station and there stalking out with a chip in his shoulder had been Eggsy.

Although Harry kept trying to convince Eggsy that they should go as far as to consider possibly living in separate bedrooms the boy'd hard headedness persisted.

One day Eggsy made sure to rearrange the bedroom. Make it how apparent he was _not_ moving out. Eggsy purposefully claimed the left side of the bed. The side closer to the door and Harry's blind spot.

Rather than be rankled when he had come home to see the new arrangement of the master bedroom a part of him had been touched. And miffed that Eggsy had noticed his discomfort due to his permanent blind side. So he had given in to Eggsy's smug kiss in greeting.

That same night Eggsy had a nightmare.

Eggsy's nightmares did not lead to violence as Harry's did and Harry didn't know if that was because Kingsmen hadn't yet torn and festered in Eggsy like it does eventually in all agents. Or if Eggsy was constructed that way, able to compartmentalized to that degree, to have dreamless nights. Perhaps his step father had been useful in some ways. _  
_

Harry startled awake when he felt someone tracking the ridges of bone around his eye socket. The skin was shockingly sensitive.

"Eggsy?" he murmured, voice rough from sleep. The hand began to retreat before Harry grasped his wrist, brought that hand to his chest. Anchoring him, "What's wrong, darling?"

It was like watching a dam breaking and hands were flying over him. Caressing his skin, sliding under his sleep shirt and trousers. Head over his heart, wet tears and the warmth of Eggsy's breath fell across his collar bone. 

"I dreamt you were dead," hands returned to trace over his face, as if they were expecting to fall through, as if they were petting fog. "I dreamt you weren't here."

All Harry did in response was pet Eggsy's back and hum softly until he lulled him to sleep.

The next night, Harry was waiting in bed with a book when Eggsy marched out of the bathroom, his sleep pants low on his hips. Nimbly snatching the book, Eggsy placed it on the bedside table before he settled over Harry. He threaded their legs and placed his head on Harry's chest before promptly falling asleep. Bewildered Harry simply pressed his lips against the top of Eggsy head before immediately falling into a dreamless sleep himself.

The next time Harry was plagued by a night terror he would wake to Eggsy caging his arms, hands like chains on his wrists, and Eggsy forcing his way into his mouth.

And that is how Harry knew he was there and awake and not six feet under.

4.

(90 Days : 05 Hours : 12 Minutes : 42 Seconds since he's been shot

 09 Days : 16 Hours : 39 Minutes : 27 Seconds before he will be taken)

Kay was the agent that they usually sent for honey pots. Kay had a modelesque appearance with knife sharp cheek bones and blue eyes the color of Arctic water that seemed to ensnare any target.

Be it for friendship, sex, or romance Kay was their go to agent for missions that required _close_ relations. Even if he was not his/her "type" Kay had a charisma that was a siren call at any event he went to. 

Harry had been a test administrator in the selection progress for the current Kay and truly had admired the change of Kay from a rentboy from the South End of London into the gentleman he was now. Gone where threadbare clothes into formidable suites that may as well been painted onto his physique.

Kay may not have been his mentee but when Kay's own mentor was not present the boy seemed to have chosen Harry to be a surrogate father figure to him. Which was completely understandable as Kay's father had been his pimp as well. Kay never mentioned if he knew that Harry had "facilitated" his father's overdose.

( _And thank god the same had not happen to Eggsy with his step-father or else Harry is unsure of what he would have done._ )

That is why when Kay finally was able to return to Headquarters after traipsing around in South America Harry was unsurprised at how casually Kay marched into his office.

"Well, hello, Arthur!" Kay said as he rounded his desk before sitting on the corner. "May I say that your eyepatch has made you all the more fetching." He leaned into Harry, "Gives others a shiver to think of what  _dangers_ you must be in bed."

"Yes, well," Harry self-consciously touched his eyepatch before purposefully flattening his hands on his desk. "I must say it is good to see you well, Kay. South America seems to have treated you well."

"Being the 'mistress' certainly gives you a lot of time at the poolside." Kay looked critically at the tan of his arms. He winked at Harry as he traced a finger along Harry's hand, "But I myself have always been much more partial to fair skin."

"Kay," Harry could feel fond exasperation building in him as he knocked his hand off. "I'm sure you'll quickly be loosing that tan in London's dapper weather."

"So I'll be staying in London for awhile?" Kay asked excitedly.

Harry patted his knee, "Everyone deserves a good break. After all you've done great work in mitigating tensions in the other hemisphere. I quite think it's time for everyone to get much deserved time to recuperate. The world seems to be rebalancing itself more or less."

The look in Kay's eyes was suddenly what one could call "predatorily."

Harry understood for a brief second what Kay's targets must have felt. It was like being a butterfly forcibly pinned to a cork board. Kay leaned forward, his finger once again trailing against Harry's skin.

"In that case, Arthur," Kay positively purred. "You  _must_ give me the pleasure of your company at dinner sometime. Soon."

Harry opened his mouth, tongue twisted, ( _Kay was like a son figure to him for god's--_ ) when the door to his office once again banged open.

Eggsy cheerfully entered, carefully balancing two tea cups before he froze. Eyes zeroing in on Kay's finger on Harry.

A thunderous expression flashed across his face. The small smile melted away into an stoic expression. Harry winced when he saw the look in Eggsy's eyes and had to force himself to not hunch his shoulders or to voice apologies although he had done nothing to deserve such a look.

"Ah, Kay," he awkwardly said when he found his voice. "This is Eggsy, the new Galahad and--"

"His lover," Eggsy gritted out as he deftly placed the saucers onto the mantel of the fireplace with a sharp click. He rolled his shoulders and straightened his tie in the mirror there. When Eggsy caught his eye in the mirror Harry's throat felt suddenly parched. 

"I see," the cunning face of a Kingsmen agent bleeding through Kay's cherub face as he got up, Harry breathed a sigh of relief. Approaching Eggsy with the ease of a python he held his hand out, "Kay."

Eggsy eyed Kay up and down before ignoring his hand and striding towards Harry.

Kay slowly let his hand down, staring at Eggsy's back, calculating.

"Merlin told me when I saw you to remind you that you must see him for your post mission STD test, I believe?" Eggsy offhandedly said, if Harry were any other man he would have sputtered at Eggsy's bristled tone. 

Harry could see how Kay's face broke into an almost childish frown. The tension raised in the room.

Harry felt like he was an mannequin in his seat, merely a witness to the interaction before him. Before he could interrupt, to try and diffuse the situation, Eggsy continued, "I also believe Merlin mentioned that you are scheduled to do your annual fitness tests this week." Glancing over his shoulder Eggsy said, "I would be most _certainly_ be happy to help you retrain for the hand-to-hand combat portion."

"I don't believe that will be--" Eggsy held up a finger and for some reason Kay silenced. Harry blinked in surprise, Kay's verbose nature was infamous in the Kingsmen. In fact Merlin had once said that the only way to truly ever silence Kay was to cut his tongue out.

Merlin was not unknown for his morbid humor.

Before Harry could interject himself into the situation lips viciously pressed against him. Eggsy placed a proprietary hand on his neck as he bent Harry's head back. His tongue licked at the roof of Harry's mouth, teeth nipping at his tongue. When the need for air was too much and Harry began to tug away Eggsy made sure to drag Harry's bottom lip between his teeth. 

Harry would be abashed by how heavily he was breathing as Eggsy leaned back, looking down at Harry with a smirk. Harry could feel how kiss swollen his lips were.

"I'll see you later, love." Eggsy kissed the corner of his mouth. "Let's go, Kay. Arthur needs to rest now." Eggsy said, not breaking eye contact with Harry.

Eggsy, like a satisfied cat began to stroll out of the office. And Harry could only watch bewildered as Kay followed with his tail between his legs. 

When Eggsy came home later that night with bruises on his torso from "training" with Kay. Harry didn't stop Eggsy when he pushed Harry onto the dining table, their dinner steaming besides them. He didn't tell Eggsy how unsanitary it was to be having sex right besides their food, he only moaned louder when Eggsy's grip felt like it would break his bones.

The morning after, he stared at the finger shaped bruises on his hips. He knew he had to speak to Merlin.

5.

(91 Days : 13 Hours : 29 Minutes : 13 Seconds since he's been shot

 08 Days : 02 Hours : 42 Minutes : 48 Seconds before he will be taken)

Harry did not get to speak to Merlin about his troubles next tea time because they were reviewing missions that needed to be delegated.

Honey pot missions at times take not the bull in a china shop tactic as many of their young agents took ( _i.e._ _Kay)_. And Kingsmen was now primarily relatively young agents.

( _There was often bitterness at the back of his tongue when he sat a round table of twenty and thirty year olds, faces that he had seen for decades taken away by their acceptance of a maniacal philosophy. At these times Eggsy would press Harry's hand into the table to hide their angry jitters.)_

A roaring headache was building behind his eyepatch as he looked to Merlin and reluctantly said, "I'll take the recon/honeypot mission."

After all a gentlemen always had the lightest touch.

Later as he was dressing in his dress tux at home, his stomach was rolling, hands practically vibrating  _because he had worn a suit exactly like this as he had entered Valentine's den and his verbal saber ready and he thought that was all he ever needed to best this elementary man but in the end with the bloody bodies behind him never did he think it wouldn't be enough as Kentucky sun flared above--_

Eggsy had smoothed his suit for him, straightened the eyepatch although it was already aptly placed. A strained smile on his face, jealousy thick in his undertone, Eggsy said, "You'll do fine, Harry. It's a simple mission. All you have to do is talk."

Harry's temper would flare at such a statement if he did not have such an obvious tell and instead tried to take comfort in Eggsy's words as Eggsy continued to brush his hands over his suit as if trying to ingrain himself into it somehow. When he leaned in for a kiss Harry had to rebuff him, kiss bruised lips didn't attract bachelors/bachelorettes.

His tone unintentionally harsh as his building headache pulsed at the base of his skull, "Not _now_ , Eggsy."

"Fine," Eggsy's tender age of twenty-four showed as his tempered flared. He turned away, out of the bedroom. "Just go."

Harry had been half blind as he left their home. He ignored Eggsy, who was sulking in front of the with JB, as he closed the front door. Merlin's instructions in the ear piece lead him to the taxi at the curbside.

He rode in silence as he contemplated how he was going to flash his teeth at her. How was he going to let the old woman, a wife of one of the V-Day "victims," pet at him? Let her run fake nails over his elbow, have her bat glued-on eyelashes at him as she leaned in close and the make up caked on her face became all the more clear?

Finally when they got there Merlin was his eyes as he situated himself at the bar and a tumbler of two fingers of scotch was placed in front of him. He drank it all in one gulp. Another was placed in front of him.

He caught the eye of the target, an alone alcoholic across the bar, before looking away. He felt how easily his fishing hook had sunk into her. 

This was going to be easy.

But then when the voice came on his right side, a sultry voice asking, "Give me a glass of what he is having," Harry felt a hand flitter over his eye patch.

And. He. Can't.  _Breathe_.

A feeling of _wrongness_ floods over him, tearing at him as a tidal wave of anguish consumed him. Fireworks bursted in front of his eyes. Acid was flooding his throat. Everything melted away as he moved away from that hand that had touched-- _she_ _had dare touch_ \-- He could feel himself spinning out of control, like a bat in darkness suddenly forced into a bright white room. When he felt hands reaching for him he flinched away, but they kept grabbing at him,  _trying to force him--_

When he came too, Merlin's voice in his ear asking for someone's ETA, and he was retching over the toilet. Disgusted, he spit into the toilet as a wave of tiredness swamped over him. He couldn't help but rest his head against the porcelain of the toilet and greedily gasp for air. Feeling lightheaded, he couldn't even make his legs move. He whimpered.

The clang of the restrooms door barely made him flinch as he could feel his stomach roll again, because if anyone dared to touch him-he tapped the tip of his shoe against the tile floor, ready--

Eggsy's cool hands pressed against the heat of his forehead, touched the eyepatch ( _yes_ ). Harry passed out.

6.

(91 Days : 23 Hours : 57 Minutes : 08 Seconds since he's been shot

 08 Days : 12 Hours : 13 Minutes : 52 Seconds before he will be taken)

There is a brief moment when Harry rises from the darkness. The whirl of machines and the beat of his own heart loud, echoing in his own ears. From behind his eyelids he can sense the blaring fluorescent lights of the hospital. Sightless he begins to reach for the IV ready to take it out because where is--

"Go back to sleep," Eggsy's voice orders. A broader hand comes to cover his. The distinct smell of Eggsy ( _lavender, cotton, fresh rain_ ) washing over him. "I'm here. Rest."

Harry does without an ounce of protest. 

7.

(93 Days : 07 Hours : 05 Minutes : 42 Seconds since he's been shot

 06 Days : 13 Hours : 33 Minutes : 17 Seconds before he will be taken)

"It's good to see you well, Arthur," Merlin's brogue accent thick as he sipped from his tea. They were once again seated in Arthur's office after Harry had jumped through every medical hoop possible before Eggsy let him out of the hospital wing.

A mulish part of himself wondered why Eggsy had been the one to determine when he left.  

"I am thankful as well," Harry said. He gave a rueful laugh, "It seems in the pass year I have been spending more time laying in a hospital bed than out of it."

"Let's hope that we can start breaking bad habits," Merlin paused before setting his saucer down. "You truly don't remember what happened?" He looked at Harry inquisitively, "We tested the liquor they gave you, but there was nothing there to have caused your unprecedented reaction."

There was a brief moment that Harry felt lies swirling at the tip of his tongue like mad flies around rotten meat.

But the confusion warring inside him about him and Eggsy, his own body were too great for him to put a confident front.

When he placed his tea cup on his desk the tea sloshed over the rim. He kneaded his fingers into his temples, a tension headache building.

"I," his voice shook. "I truly don't know what's happening, Merlin." He sighed through his nose before sitting up in his chair again and meeting Merlin's eye head on, "When that woman touched me I felt, I felt so  _repulsed_. That's all I can distinctly remember. All I could think was how she wasn't Eggsy and  _that felt so wrong to me_."

Merlin was quite for a second before clearing his throat. "Hm. When one takes a lover--"

"This isn't trifling feelings of distaste or unease, Merlin." Harry snapped, slamming a fist against the table. "I damn well know how to honeypot. I know what this job requires whether or not you have a romantic partner. But in that moment I couldn't. I physically could not let her touch me."

Unease was distinct on Merlin's face, tapping his fingers against the desk. Seeming to feel the tension that was wrought through Harry he reached forward obviously trying to comfort.

Before Harry could stop himself, he violently flinched, heart in his throat when Merlin's hand almost connected with his own. Merlin was frozen, hand still reaching out.

"See, Merlin. I can't," Harry said.

Obviously trying to regain composure Merlin leaned back into his chair. "When did you notice such effects?"

"Since I woke up?" Harry then corrected himself, "No, not truly until. . . Until Eggsy and I engaged in coitus." Wringing his hands Harry continued, "I-I find myself wanting to  _please_ him. I want to make him happy and want to make it so he has no reason not to smile. And I want him." Harry had to clear his throat, embarrassment and mortification twisting and sliding in his stomach like two eels fighting. "I want him  _mark_ me and I want him to o-," heat submerged his face, " _own_ me."

He gave a stuttering breath as he covered his face. Looking at Merlin and he hysterically laughed. "God. You must think me to be some deviant!"

A helpless anger washed over him, savagely sweeping his arm across the desk. The tea cup and saucer broke like a firework against the wall.

Sinking in his chair they both were quiet as Harry stared at his hands, shame scuttling over his skin.

Silence stretched between them.

When there was a knock at the door he was almost thankful and loudly said, "Come in."

Roxy, dressed in a plaited suite and bespectacled, entered in purposefully. Only when she was halfway into the office did she falter in her step seeming to just have realized the heaviness of the atmosphere. 

"Arthur," Roxy said, a hint of bashfulness in her tone. "Sorry to interrupt. I was told to bring Merlin some files." Nervously she shifted the papers in her hands. 

Harry waved away her apology, trying to give her a look of encouragement. ( _She was so young._ ) "Please go ahead, pay me no mind."

Harry watched how the two of them interacted. How Merlin flattened his hand over the spot where shoulder meet neck, thumb over the carotid artery. How Roxy's eyes fluttered at that touch, how her shoulders loosened and she leaned towards him more. Harry saw how Roxy's glaze was demurely pointed towards the floor while Merlin's roamed over her as if looking for the slightest hair out of place since he had last seen her.

Harry watched how Merlin seemed to force himself to stare back at Harry as Roxy left the office, while Roxy glanced back each step of the way.

"I think you know how I feel," was all Harry said.

Merlin, now the one avoiding Harry's gaze, promised to look into it right away.

After Merlin had left, Harry threw  _The Times_ into the garbage can. The title,  _Altered: How V-Day has Touched Us All_  unnerved him.

> _"It appears that there is a distinction between survivors of V-Day, as many call it now." Dr _. Haversham told us here at The Times. "There is one half that appear more aggressive. Kind of more an Alpha male character, akin to a hunter in a more primitive society. While in juxtaposition there is a more passive partner. This partner supports the Alpha, more of a Beta or Omega. People that are displaying more passive qualities appear to need the more dominant partner."__
> 
> __"But make no mistake, the dominant one could not be the way they are without someone to protect."_ _
> 
> __"In fact there was a case in Africa, where in the aftermath of V-Day they found a man and woman that refused to be separated. When the two of them were found in the carnage the woman was crouched over the man. She was covered in gore and wounds but refused to move. She tried to attack any aid that came towards them. It was only when the man appeared to awaken did she stand down. I believe the two of them are still together."  
>  _ _
> 
> __"They tried to explain to us what they were experiencing there were no words for it. No english words that can aptly describe it, the locals told us."_ _
> 
> __"I don't quite know what is happening. But you can also see a case in China where many are beginning to, they call it 'bond'--"_ _
> 
> __The Times. Page 1, continued on Page 6._ _

8.

(94 Days : 18 Hours : 18 Minutes : 07 Seconds since he's been shot

 05 Days : 13 Hours : 41 Minutes : 25 Seconds before he will be taken)

The smell of a little child is one of the sweetest in the world. Harry couldn't help but hold Daisy a little tighter as she wiggled in her sleep, tucking her head into the side of his neck.

Inhaling her scent he could smell strawberries and clean skin. Rocking her back and forth he deftly turned off the television where the rolling credits of  _Mulan_ were playing. Eggsy refused to let his sister get, as he said, tongue loose with his accent, "suckered by them sissy princesses waiting for someone to fix them problems."

Daisy was a little furnace against his chest. Poking his head into the kitchen he told Eggsy, voice soft, "I'm going to lay her in the guest room."

Eggsy nodded his head, a startlingly big grin spreading across his cheeks as he took in the sight of the two of them. Harry smiled softly back, then turned towards the stairs. 

His knees creaked a little as he went up the stairs, but he wouldn't dare drop his precious package. Avoiding the wood panels that he knew would creak he entered the guest bedroom.

The guest bedroom was dominated by a canopy bed with wispy curtains that contrasted with the black wood vanity table and chest of drawers. At the foot of the bed were the clothes Michelle had packed for the young girl. Harry was thankful they had already changed her in her pajamas after a bath that had left the bathroom more soaked than the little monster of a girl.

Gently placing her in the oversized bed he huffed a silent laugh as she clung like an octopus, arms encircling his neck. Untangling  himself from her clingy arms he swaddling her in the blankets. 

He couldn't help before leaving the room to kiss her forehead. Warmth curled in the balls of his feet when she snuggled deeper into the covers. 

Cursing quietly when JB almost tripped him as he went back to the hall. JB rushing inside to jump onto the bed, he glared at the dog as JB twirled around before settling against Daisy's legs. He couldn't help but think the dog was more like a cat, coming and going as it please. 

Exiting the bedroom Harry almost collided with Eggsy who immediately covered his mouth with his hand. Putting a finger over his mouth he took his hand off Harry's mouth. Harry glared balefully at him before turning with a huff towards their bedroom.

As they quietly walked towards their bedroom Eggsy captured Harry's hand, made him slow to a stop. Lacing their fingers together Eggsy whispered, "I love watching her with you."

"I love being with her too," Harry admitted, feeling soft and warm at the admission. Seeing the light in her eyes and her fascination with the world around her made Harry feel syrupy and sweet. It put hope back in his bones. And something inside him quivered when Eggsy then pinned under his gaze. Harry's cheeks were rosy as he omitted, "I love caring for her."

"God," Eggsy muttered before he was tearing the clothes off of Harry. 

"Wh-What are you doing? We need to get in the bedroom, you mad man!" Harry whispered, scandalized. Quickly he tugged Eggsy into the bed room. Once he had closed the door Eggsy fisted Harry's shirt and began to back him up to the bed.

"Darling, be aware," Eggsy tore Harry's belt off, shoved his pants to his knees, "You're not leaving this bed anytime soon."

They were a whirlwind of limbs as Eggsy forced him onto his knees on the bed, Harry's arse the only thing bare. Harry pressed his backside towards Eggsy, hunger growing as he heard the click of Eggsy's belt being undone, heard his zipper going down. Eggsy was enthralled he pressed his arousal against Harry's hole. Unable to stop himself from rutting against Harry, Harry was biting his fist to keep quiet ( _Daisy was in the other room!_ ).

He squealed when Eggsy abruptly pushed his fingers into Harry.Harry could feel humiliation squirm in him when he realized how  _loose_ he was already from sex right before Daisy had been dropped off.

Harry felt so filthy as Eggsy fingered him, gun calloused hands scissoring. He almost didn't notice how Eggsy's other hand was pressed against his stomach, finger circling his belly button. Until he started speaking.

"God, if I could get you pregnant," Harry's arousal jumped at such words. _What?_ He was about to speak when Eggsy's fingers found his prostate and he whited out as Eggsy kept speaking. "I'd fill you up again and again. You'd always be leaking, even after it took I'd make sure everyone knows who you belong to." Harry wails at the loss of fingers as Eggsy kisses his hole, "I'd make sure that you'd be heavy and round with our child. And you'd love it, darling. Feeling that life growing in you. Imagine how you'd be waddling around, unable to walk straight. God, imagine if it were twins. Triplets." Eggsy was breathing hard against his skin. Sucking a hickey on his shoulder, "Everyone would want you once they see how fertile you are. They'd see how soft and sweet you are. Always so sweet for me."

Harry tugged on Eggsy's hands on his hips, wiggling his ass, trying to get Eggsy to  _get in him_.

"Shh, shh, darling," Eggsy shushed him, bent over, voice directly in Harry's ear, cock  _still not in Harry_. "I wouldn't _dare_ let them see you. I'd keep you naked in our bed were I could always see your belly, see how much you are mine. Then," Eggsy gave a teasing thrust against Harry and Harry wailed, "after you gave birth you'd beg me for another and I'd do it, get you pregnant again. You'll be heavy and pregnant with a baby at each tit. God, darling, you would be  _so perfect_."

And before Harry could stop himself he whimpered, "Eggsy, get in me,  _please_."

Eggsy with a growl thrusted into Harry and Harry could only hang on as Eggsy plowed into him, used him.

He couldn't help when he rolled out of their bed the second Eggsy's finished. Retreating into their bathroom he scrubbed at his skin. Ignoring Eggsy calling his name and his own raging hard on he turned on the shower. Harry scrubbed himself until his skin was bloody pink. 

God what was happening to them? What was happening _to him_?

9.

(96 Days : 08 Hours : 39 Minutes : 00 Seconds since he's been shot

 03 Days : 13 Hours : 41 Minutes : 31 Seconds before he will be taken)

Harry was almost thankful that Eggsy had to leave for a brief mission. A tension had built between then that Harry did not know how to diffuse. Unfortunately it wasn't as simple as cutting a green or red wire. Again and again Harry found himself failing the smallest of  _obvious_ boobytraps.

Such as when Eggsy approached him that morning, contrite and awkwardly hanging by the bathroom door as Harry pressed cologne on his pulse points.

"Sorry if," Eggsy shifted foot to foot, "sorry if I took it too far last night."

"It was fine," Harry said in reply, but it was too abrupt and hasty. The way Eggsy's posture had become taut and motionless made Harry wince.

Eggsy had left without a word. Didn't speak to Harry as he waited in the foyer with his rain coat and umbrella in the crease of his elbow.

Space was good, Harry had tried to reason with himself again and again as they tubed to the mansion. Everyone needed a little space.

The confined space between them sizzling with unspoken words that Harry just couldn't sort into a logical order on his tongue. Exiting the tube, Eggsy without glancing back began to march away, even ignoring Merlin's greeting.

And Harry knew it was a routine, small mission and that he would see him in less in twenty-four hours. But how many times had Harry justified that reasoning with his friends and fellow agents? How many times had Harry left something unsaid because of his pride or posture? Then had been unable to finish business later?

He didn't want it to be  _exactly like when he had left Eggsy in his home, not their home yet, telling him he would fix it when he returned but he almost didn't and he's not as formable as he once was, a structure of eroding stones is all he is and he wouldn't survive if Eggsy did the same as he did to him._

A "Wait!" bursted out of his throat. Eggsy stopped, turned, and cocked an eyebrow at him, tapping his umbrella against the floor impatiently. Before Eggsy could change his mind Harry scrambled to his side, took an encouraging breathe, and pressed a chaste kiss on his lips.

Making sure Eggsy was paying attention to him Harry said, "Give them hell, my dear."  _Come back to me._

"Arthur."  _I will._ Eggsy made a motion as if to crease his eyepatch and Harry almost swayed forward, his gut lurching in the need   that single touch. But Eggsy swiftly retracted his hand and walked away.

Harry blinked.

That was the first time Eggsy had ever  _not_ touched his eyepatch before they parted to begin their respective days. A sadness inflated in his gut.

Returning to Merlin's side, Harry barely paused before he began striding to his office. He needed his four walls and desk and doors, he could already feel his edges fraying. As he shut mahogany doors he felt as if a chasm was growing in his rib cage, mirroring the distance between Eggsy and he. 

Tiredly he sank into his chair.

"What can you tell me, Merlin." Harry said. Merlin took a seat in front of him. There were no tablets, no files. No paper trail. Pet projects left no bullseye for hunters to retrace Kingsmen with.

"Hacking being a particular hobby and talent of mine," Merlin sank into his chair, spoke into the steeple of his hands. "I was able to copies of the now famous Dr. Haversham's files."

"Truly?" Harry asked with a tad of disbelief coloring his tone. "Is he not the head of this project? And this project is funded by both the states and the EU? I would think that would be a tad too risky for your tastes to hack."

"Yes," Merlin agreed with no offense and a roguish grin took his face. "It is most unfortunate that they did not stress the importance of security protocols to a young Ms. Beatrice Young about personal computers. And that she tends to leave her Facebook page open when working."

Harry gave a hearty laugh.

"Now," Merlin's face returned to its usual stoicism. "Apparently the SIM cards switched on something primal and animalistic in everyone in it's range. It's frequencies turned on our hind brains, made even the very basic instinct of flight and fight simply into fight, fight, fight--"

Shakily Harry touched the leather covering his right eye. "I _know_ that part, Merlin. Please move on."

"Calm your tits," Merlin then leaned forward. "It would appear Dr. Haversham's has found that although the mass genocide stopped when the SIM Cards were stopped it didn't _completely_ flip the switch off in everyones' brains." Clearing his throat Merlin continued, "There appears that everyone now has a second gender so to say. Akin to female and male, each half of the gender is meant to complement one another.

"So Harry, do you know what a Dominant and a Submissive is?"

10.

(97 Days : 18 Hours : 18 Minutes : 07 Seconds since he's been shot

 00 Days : 13 Hours : 41 Minutes : 25 Seconds before he will be taken)

Harry had watched how Eggsy early seemed to beat on his targets, obviously working out some of the anger he had at Harry out on surrogates. Eggsy's promise of "I'll see you at home, love," had been the only reason Harry had been able to sleep. Only to awaken to hungry lips.

Eggsy, back from his mission, adrenaline flushed and sweaty, pressed Harry into their bed. Straddling Harry's slim waste he hungrily ripped his sleep shirt. 

Half asleep before Eggsy had come rolling in like a hurricane, Harry was playing catch up, gasping, "Wait, wait, wait."

At the same time Eggsy was gasping, "Let me have you. Let me take care of you."

Eggsy's eyes were blown like an addicts as they roamed over Harry's scar littered skin and Harry attempted to reach for the nightstand lamp feeling too much like an amoeba under a microscope when Eggsy harshly twisted Harry's nipples. Harry jack-knifed off as pleasure-pain raced through him. Falling back onto the bed gasping, Eggsy took advantage at Harry's docileness.

Eggsy was slotting between his legs when Harry blurted before he could think, "Why don't I top?"

And Harry could see how Eggsy froze at that question. Could see how  _wrongly_ the question sat with Eggsy written across his face. That is when Harry _knew._ Anger crashed through him.

"You knew," Harry hissed as he tried to push Eggsy off. Eggsy's confused face hovered over him, making Harry's anger climb the notches until he was festering, spitting, smacking at Eggsy's chest. "You knew what was happening to us this whole time. You knew you were some fucking dominant. While I am some _bloody submissive_!"

Eggsy was reeling, trying to snuff out the flames of Harry's anger, "Harry--"

But Eggsy only incised the flames.

"Did it feel good?" Harry screamed pushed his way to his elbows. Eggsy warily sitting on his heels as Harry became volatile. "Did if feel good knowing that you were the top dog now in our relationship? After I saved you in that fucking police station, gave you a new life and purpose." Harry grabbed at Eggsy wanting to shake him, rattle his heart into feeling the sharp cracks his was feeling as his thoughts expanded in all directions. His thoughts were dizzying and maddening, a crate of fireworks all set off at the same time. He ranted, "Did if feel good knowing how much I needed you? I can't even _sleep_ without you bastard. Look at me!" He gestured at his dilapidated body. His ribs branches submerged in shallow waters, the shadows cast under his eyes, "Do you see? Are you proud to see how much I couldn't function without you? Not even 24 hours and this happens!" His lips loose, words flying out razor sharp made it impossible for him to stop what he said next, "Did you _ever_ love me? Or was it all a power trip?"

There world titled on its axis. The next moment Harry found himself laying on his back, hands firmly holding him down. An instinctual hunger was welted inside him at the ease Eggsy held him down. When he tried to break the hold the grip on his wrists grew stronger. Harry helplessly looked up at Eggsy. Eggsy with his chest heaving, eyes bright, reminded Harry of the eclipsing brightness of that Kentucky sun. 

"I understand you're afraid, Harry." Eggsy said compassionately, "Everyone is nowadays. It's so strange to be feeling this way. To be feeling these new urges and compulsions that are so ingrained into me that trying to stop these signals is like trying to stop breathing." Eggsy said before a anger settled on his face and his voice steadily rose, "But don't you ever question if I love you." A haunted look flashed across his face, "Because as much as you cannot function without me I _cannot_ survive without you."

Guilt flashed through Harry, he would always be able to recall that expression. The expression of waking from a dream to find someone alive instead of dead. "Eggsy--," Harry tried.

"You think I can help myself?" Eggsy suddenly yelled. Growling as he thread his fingers through his hair, releasing Harry's wrists. "Do youeven _understand_ how difficult it is? Because for as much as I want to wreck you I want to handle you like the most precious of porcelain. You," Eggsy took a shuddering breathe, "You don't even know _half_ the things I want to do to you." He leaned into Harry, their noses brushing. "You don't know how much I restrain myself, Harry. Everyday. Single. Day. How much I have to keep myself from mauling anyone that sets eyes on you because they all want you, they'll try to take you, and _I can't let them._ " Harry yelps when Eggsy's hands suddenly seizing his wrists, "I won't let them take you. You are mine." Eggsy's voice was breathless with anger and wonder, "You're _everything_."

Harry could feel his bones rub together.

"You're hurting me, Eggsy," Harry chocked out.

It was like a bucket of ice had dropped on Eggsy as he quickly released Harry's hands. Harry tried to touch Eggsy but Eggsy rolled away to his feet. He stared at Harry, made an aborted motion to reach out to him before he caught himself. Eggsy pressed his hands together as if in prayer. 

"God," Eggsy said. "God, Harry, I'm so sorry," Harry could see how tightly Eggsy's hands were clasped together. White and bloodless. "Sometimes it just gets to much. The thought of anyone touching you, hurting you. I-I just go rabid." Wet eyes looked to Harry, eyes haunted, "But I was the one to hurt you--I'm so, so sorry, love." 

In that moment Harry then realized that he wasn't the only one struggling with their new "genders". He wasn't the only one facing these strange base desires and needs. In that moment he realized he had never alone. In that moment to see this strong creature, body wired with lithe muscles, arms and hands trembling as he restrained himself, heart always so painfully bright and open on his sleeve.

Harry felt desire licking his core to see this Dominant so ready to wreck himself before Harry.

Reaching out to Eggsy Harry's hand was perfectly still.

"I-I," Harry shut his eyes at how timid his voice was in the silence of their room, "I need you, Eggsy. And I shouldn't."

There was a motionless moment before Eggsy's strong lips collided with his and Harry submitted as a hand wrapped around his throat.

"It'll be alright, darling," Eggsy's voice carried through Harry, but _he couldn't wash out the shame as he gave into the pleasure. Orgasmed when teeth dug into his neck. Withering as Eggsy worshiped his eyepatch, Eggsy's mark of ownership--_

He ran.

11.

(98 Days : 12 Hours : 18 Minutes : 38 Seconds since he's been shot

 01 Days : 21 Hours : 26 Minutes : 53 Seconds after he was taken)

Harry was taken.

Torture was a meditative practice. Torture was the most revered psychological game, Harry's own particular brand of dealing with the intricacy of torture was to simply shut down. He was no better than a puppet whose strings had been deliberately cut.

As they yelled at him to give the location of the Headquarters Harry was tracing the contours of Eggsy's face. Chasing the crow's foot already forming at the corners of his eyes.

When they slapped the towel over his face and poured water no matter how much he wanted to breathe he remembered how soft Eggsy's lips were in comparison to the coarseness of the towel. Harry remembered how breathless his kisses made him instead.

As time slipped away and they strung him in the center of the warehouse, the singing of rats in the rafters, and fists raining over him as if trying to tenderize the meat on his bones he thought to all of those moments of shame and wondered if they were truly shameful.

He sank into an ocean of memories, the warehouse fading slowly from each sense until it was like the ending of a silent movie.

12.

(101 Days : 01 Hours : 12 Minutes : 47 Seconds since he's been shot

03 Days : 13 Hours : 41 Minutes : 25 Seconds after he was taken)

Sex was never a foreign concept to Harry.

His first sexual experience was when he was fourteen at another of his mother's seasonal luncheons. He can still remember the strawberry blonde of Cecilia's hair as it fanned out over the manicured grass. They had tried to stifle their giggles as they could hear their respective mother's pondering where they were on the other side of the maze's hedges. The pleasure they had shared had been bombastic because it was a virginal experience.

Harry's first sexual experience with a man occurred when he entered Oxford at the tender age of seventeen. By this point in his life he had already fumbled with all of his mother's friends' and acquaintances', his hormones making him careless of who and focused on merely having someone to rut against. The boy's name was Henry and was a junior at the time. The other boys in the dorms came to call them "H Squared."

Their time together was enjoyable because there was no emotional mess that Harry usually blundered with birds. Together they spent equal time studying in the libraries, lazing on the green lawns with a pigskin at the ready, and fucking. It all changed when Henry one day asked Harry to rest against the cold wrought iron of the his headboard and pulled out rope.

Harry avoided Henry until he graduated.

Henry's note was his final plea to get Harry to respond to him. It burned in his pocket for days.

hardest orgasm in your life wasn't it? you know where to find me. cheers, henry.

Harry quickly forgot Henry as he delved into the Kingsmen.

Harry then found himself poured into bullet proofed suits. Suits that were lustfully torn off by both men and women, men and women who held power and riches, bleed compassion and yearned to inflict pain. Every time Harry went out, willingly relaxed into a stranger's arms as they shed his armor, leaving him raw like a flayed nerve, he knew he had to get under their skin first before, to fester out the information and data he needed.

For some he was the gentleman, the one that lead that hand into the inseam of his elbow, leading them into the lion's den.Then when he was between the sheets he would make sure his partner orgasmed before finding completion himself and he would be the one to get the wet towel.

For some he was the dangerous heathen, with scuffed skin and tight leather jackets, he would press the target against walls before smothering them with his lips. Then when he was between the sheets he was an animal, wild and scratching, leaving them both gasping as if if the ocean had swallowed them up to only then regurgitate them.

For some he was the controller, when they came to him crawling on their knees he would immediately order them to shower, place a collar that rested over their collar bones. Then when he was between the sheets he was a composer orchestrating their orgasming and pleasure as they begged to lick the leather of his shoe.

But whenever there was a mission that called for a character to be demure, docile, or submissive? Harry never took it.

Because he can remember how Henry given a cackled as he orgasmed so hard that his vision had whited out, twisting in those ropes, nudged Harry's dick and said, "God, just like a woman! Simper and whining like some _whore_." 

( _He was tired of letting ghosts--Valentine, Henry--haunt him_ )

13.

(102 Days : 17 Hours : 18 Minutes : 07 Seconds since he's been shot

04 Days : 02 Hours : 17 Minutes : 25 Seconds after he was taken)

When Eggsy comes for him Harry had just spit blood into the interrogator's face and received a fist to the temple. 

Even sightless he knew it was Eggsy because his heart picked up in beat, his body _pulsed_ with the knowledge he was near. Also because Eggsy would only ever be the only one to conduct a rescue mission by driving a truck tractor into a structurally questionable warehouse.

Half delirious from hunger and thirst Harry _giggled_  as he heard the hails of bullets, the hiss of air from a silencer. Hearing how swiftly those men's cries were snuffed out made a swell of pride and unintentional lust grow in his chest. He could sense the frenzy around him. A piranha among goldfish. The blood in the air made Harry hypersensitive. Licking his lips, blood thick on his tongue he knew who he wanted to win.

After all winner gets to _claim._

Darkness swam around the vision of his single eye and when the last bullet was shot tension leeched out of his limbs and he collapsed. He was safe. The chains echoing loudly in the open space. Chin to his chest, wrists and back muscles screaming in pain, helpless against gravity, Harry just didn't have the strength anymore.

He was so tired. 

"Harry!" steps grew louder, oxfords clicked towards him.

A hand cupped his face, forcing him to meet stormy green blue eyes. He could hear the scratch of a file. As chains released him he fully collapsed against Eggsy. Eggsy didn't even stagger.

Harry couldn't look away. 

Eggsy was so _beautiful._ Eggsy was blindingly bright like a dying star. Something primal and hungry sparked in Harry's belly as he took in the Eggsy before him. Blue, green eyes glinting like flint stones, lips firmly pressed together as if stopping himself from bearing them. The tendons in his neck were bulging and Harry could see the jumping pulse of his veins there. Not a hair was out of place, his suite sharp lines, no cuts or bruises anywhere.

Eggsy looked down at him expressionless, eyes gazed as if lost, staring at him through blood splatter lenses.

But Harry knew. He could see how Eggsy was a terrible, wild, savage thing right now. From the way his other hand gripped the silencer and from the blood dripping knife strapped to his ankle.

And it awoke Harry's brain lizard, instincts flaring to life. To see Eggsy this way made something deep in Harry click into place. And he knew what to do.

Threading his fingers with the hand resting over the cheek he let gravity take its hold. Dropping to his knees, ignoring the crack of his bones against the concrete, he presented his neck.

He gazed up at Eggsy, brown eyes slitted, hoping that he was heard. That Eggsy knew. That Eggsy would hear what Harry couldn't form into words in this second, because Harry was old and his pride was some of the few things he had left. But he needed Eggsy to  _hear_ him now.

And Eggsy's face fractured into something unbearably young as he pulled from his pocket another one of Harry's eyepatches.

Tears blinded Harry as Eggsy pressed the leather back where it belonged.

14.

(109 Days : 09 Hours : 33 Minutes : 41 Seconds since he's been shot

11 Days : 21 Hours : 52 Minutes : 39 Seconds after he was taken)

A week of forced house rest was enough to drive any man mad.

Harry could not make himself watch the insipid television or pick up any of his prized first edition tomes. He had even forced himself to stop cleaning when his hand had twitched when holding a crystal dish and he wondered how it would look breaking against the wall.

There was not even JB to entertain him as he had run off to live with Daisy next door. For God's sake, even Merlin had cut off contact with Harry after he had tried to coerce him to send him  _any_ paper work.

All it left Harry was left with was thinking of  _Eggsy and he, Harry and Eggsy, Eggsy, Eggsy, Eggsy._

Harry thought about how Eggsy had left back to Headquarters once he had made sure Harry was situated, released from the hospital after absorbing an IV bag of nutrients and water. Harry thought about how Eggsy left every morning when Harry was asleep, and returned each evening when Harry was asleep. But Harry wasn't asleep every time.

Eggsy had not touched him since the warehouse. And it was driving Harry crazy. He just needed Eggy to touch him. It didn't matter if it was in passing a finger to the inseam of his wrist or even a bloody hug but Harry was jumping out of his own skin. 

Twisting his neck he tried to fully see the bruises. There was a myriad of bruises flowering from his left temple to his chin. He couldn't help wincing. Not one to have ever be vain, but even Harry could see why Eggsy had not touched him. Was Eggsy finally tried of Harry? Was he tired of how he kept running from being a submissive?

Had Harry possibly turned Eggsy so much that Eggsy just refused to let himself get burned anymore?

Looking at himself plainly in the mirror he took in the lines that ran across his forehead, the tired mounds under his eyes, the groves a the corners of his mouth.  _How_ had force himself to ever touch Harry? Wrapping his robe more tightly around himself he decided he was going to crawl back into bed and wallow.

Exiting the bathroom he startled.

Eggsy was sitting on the edge of the bed. A suite case was by his feet.

Both Eggsy and he looked at each other warily. Eggsy cleared his throat before a smile ( _Harry knew it was fake, could hear the creaking plastic_ ) came onto his face. He got up to greet Harry.

"Hello, love," Eggsy's eyes ran over Harry before he gave a chaste kiss on Harry's right cheek.

"You didn't say goodbye this morning," Harry's hands ran over his eyepatch.  _You didn't even touch me before you left_. He had to force the next words from his mouth, "What's the suite case for?"

Eggsy gave a passing glance at the item, shrugged his shoulders, "Brought it back from HQ, need to put fresh clothes in the go bag."

"Are you leaving?" Harry flinched as the words came out of his mouth. Eggsy's face dropped, "Leaving me? Because I-I'd understand."

"Would you now?" Eggsy's voice had lost all warmth.

"I mean it'd be understandable. You can't even stand being  _near_ me." Harry said accusingly, arms crossing over his chest. Eggsy looked at him, expression unreadable, before he looked away with a tsk.

"I didn't really think you wanted anything to do with me, Harry. Honestly," Eggsy's voice was hard. Harry had to forced himself to straighten his shoulders.

"Why would you think that?" Harry couldn't keep the hurt out of his voice.

Eggsy  _erupted_ , lurching to his feet, a flurry of motion.

"You ran after we made love Harry! What  _was_ I supposed to think?" Eggsy's voice boomed in their room. "I won't let you treat me like I'm some rapist or person that you use for your 'sick' pleasures then leaves like some fucking rentboy." Eggsy gave a shuddering breathe. His voice heartbroken. "I love you, but I will not let you use me to hurt yourself. I'll fucking leave before you make me into a _monster_."

Eggsy stilled and then burst into tears.

It was like watching a building collapse in on itself as Eggsy dropped back onto the bed. His strong shoulders shaking from the strength of his sobs. He was aging before Harry's eyes, he looked to be a hundred years older in that moment.

Harry couldn't let this happen.

Stepping forward Harry placed his hands, fingers light on the pressed suit, on Eggsy's shoulders. But Eggsy was so lost in his tears that Harry cautiously had moved to remove his hands. Eggsy was docile as a kitten as Harry placed his own hands where Eggsy's were a second ago. He stared at those tears, crystalline and glinting from the low light from outside. 

_I caused that._

"His name was Henry," Harry voice no louder than a whisper in a chapel. Gently chasing tears with his finger tips. "We were both young but he was a little older, a little wiser. A lot more experience. We," Harry trailed off momentarily, lost in those memories for a split second ( _peeling_ _laughter as they played with Harry's sex_ ) before stormy eyes grounded him again. "He was the first one to, ah, show me what being a 'submissive' was." Eggsy looked up at those words, "And I _loved_ it. And," His voice cracked with humiliation. He could feel his face burn as he remembered (" _Like some woman!"_ ), "I never had I been so humiliated in my life."

Beseechingly he got on his knees, the heavy feeling of _rightness_ sinking into his bones as he kneeled. Eggsy watched motionless, the remnants of tears bright on his face. He looked as if he were going to speak for a second but he did not interrupt. Perhaps he knew if he did Harry would curl in like a clam and never get these words out. Would let them continue to dwell in the caverns in his skull. But he had to reveal these cobwebs and let the wind blow them away. He had to move on.

"Eggsy, I know the times are different today." Harry placed his hands on Eggy's knees, trying to hide their jitters to be revealing so much, to be the one removing his rusting armor. "So much more acceptance, so much more freedom. But to be a man in the 80's having sex with another man was still feared and punishable by your peers. Homophobia was still in vogue, one could say," he gave a bitter laugh remembering all the STD tests he had taken when not in the line of duty. From those encounters in the alley ways and behind doors with enough locks to put the Buckingham Palace to shame. "Then to find myself to be in role that was considered  _womanish_? To find so much _pleasure_ in it?" Harry's voice carried the weight of his eighteen year old self's shame. "I was  _disgusted_ with myself. I was already half a man to want to be with other men but to want to _submit_ made me less than a man. No more than dirt." Wrenching his hands off Eggsy he wrapped his arms around himself, boa constrictor tight. He could feel his whole body quaking. "I _always_ wanted it. I wanted someone one to hold me. I wanted someone to watch over me for once, to not be big and strong. To not be the _man_ in the situation. I wanted someone to care for me and not feel like I was some burden. And you, " Eggsy was watching him with rapt attention. "And that's you. You've never treated like a burden even when I was going mad," his fingers ghosted over his eyepatch, "Even though I'm not even whole anymore. And..."

He lurched forward, pressing, hiding his face into Eggsy's knee. Digging his eye into Eggy's kneecap until he saw stars. He didn't know what he would do if--

"I'm so sorry, Eggsy. I've let ghosts of the past haunt us today. I've hurt you, love." He voice was swollen with tears, "So don't leave me please. I can do better. I can be a good," he paused. Bit his lip, "I can be a good sub." Shyly he looked up at Eggsy, "Sir."

Hands came to pet at his hair and Harry pushed into those rough hands.

"Oh, darling," The warmth in Eggsy's voice made Harry cry all the harder, "How could I  _not_ want you?"

Hands cupping his face forced him to look up. 

"You're the bravest man I know, because you didn't give up," Eggsy smoothed his thumb over his cheeks. Catching on the eyepatch, Harry shivered. "When you like any man wanted to lay down and die after V-Day, you admittedly gave in. But in the end you got _back up_." He gave a breathless laugh, "Harry, you're so giving. Giving from the moment I met you, when I was eight and you gave me and my mum that medallion. You didn't very well have to. You could have paraded on with life because my father went into Kingsmen knowing he may not survive. But you didn't and that moment of kindness." Eggsy pressed his forehead to his, breathed against his lips, "It lead me back to you. It lead me to Kingsmen, to being a _hero_." Eggsy's grip on his face tightened, "I love you, Harry, because of the man you made me. Who I am with you." He then said in a teasing tone, "A gentleman would never dare leave the the love of his life."

Fingers thread into Harry's hair, pulling him away. The sharp pain, made him whimper. Harry bit his lip to try and contain the sound.

"I understand your discomfort," Eggsy's eyes were dark and knowing, red rimmed from tears, "But we'll work on it."

Harry's heart felt so swollen, helplessly he lunged forward connecting their lips. He was sure he was probably disgusting to kiss with tear tracks and mucus from his nose but that didn't seem to matter to Eggsy. Eggsy meet him with the same force as he pushed his tongue into Harry's mouth, growling and wild. Harry was lost in the kiss as Eggsy directed him, hand in his hair. Desire was racing through his nerves. When they pulled apart, Harry pushed at Eggsy's chest before he could kiss him again.

"Wait," Harry would die if he could hear himself over the roar of his ears, sounding so ravished. "Get on the bed."

The desire in him increased tenfold as he watched how enthusiastically Eggsy vaulted himself into the bed.

"Get against the headboard," Harry then ordered. The words tantalizingly rolling on his tongue, his core so hot he felt like it would burn right through him.

Eggsy was against the headboard, chest heaving, excitement apparent against the inseam of his pants.

Seeing Eggsy so excited over him, old and far past his prime time, made Harry feel daring and sexy. So he crawled onto the bed. With all the grace he could muster, swinging his hips, the slow movement of his limbs, he was a panther as he approached Eggsy. Eggsy watched raptly as Harry climbed over his body, swinging a leg over his hips.

Immediately hands flew to his hips. Eggsy leaned forward trying to catch his lips but Harry leaned back. A fissure of displeasure flashed over Eggsy's fingertips rubbing light patterns over his arse before suddenly digging in.

"Ah!" Harry bit off the moan. He slapped at Eggsy's hands, ignoring his smug look, "Wait, wait! You can't--Don't touch."

Eggsy merely quirked his eyebrow, smugness practically wafting off of him, knowing very well he didn't have to listen to the order, before deliberately placing his hands down on the duvet. 

"Good," Harry panted. Pushing Eggy's jacket just off his shoulders he attempted to unbutton the waist coat before he gave a snarl and ripped at the waist coat. Button went flying, Eggsy looked flabbergasted when Harry didn't even attempt to unbutton his undershirt before ripping at hit.

"My favorite suit," Eggsy teased.

"Shut up," Harry said. Two could play. Tantalizingly he hovered over Eggsy, narrowing his eyes he grounded down into Eggsy's sex. Eggsy gave a growling moan at the sensation, swiveling his hips.

But when Eggsy tried to thrust up into him Harry pulled away. The promise of retribution in Eggsy's eyes made Harry dizzy. Harry said, "Be quiet or this stops."

Eggsy pressed his lips together before miming locking and throwing a key away.

The little shit.

With Eggsy's attention recaptured he then placed his lips on Eggsy's neck, lightly biting. Eggsy hissed.

Encouraged by how he could feel the muscles under his lips tense as if they were being electrified, hear the raggedness of his breath Harry trailed his lips down Eggsy's body, down his neck, his pecs--giving a vicious bite at each nipple that made Eggsy jump each tim. He licked the contours of Eggsy's ab muscles. It was so good to feel those muscles, to have such a strong _mate_.

When he finally reached Eggsy's arousal, ready to burst out of those tight of sin pants, he made sure he made eye contact with Eggsy. Eggsy who was flushed red, arms entangled in the remnants of his suite, looked positively ready to eat Harry.

Not if Harry ate his first.

Tonguing the zipper into his mouth, using his teeth he dragged the zipper down. Eggsy had been going commando. Grinning wickedly in one smooth movement Harry swallowed Eggsy down.

Eggsy shouted and Harry reprimanded slapped at his thigh. Breathing through his nose he bobbed his head up and down experimentally. At the tip he glanced back up at Eggsy, who had thrown an arm over his eyes, one blue eye peaking out. Harry winked before he sank down again until Eggsy's prick touched the back of his throat. Giving a few experimental swallows, relishing as Eggsy gave small moans, before he began to bob his head.

Harry got lost as he moved his head up and down, twisting his tongue around the organ, lightly dragging his teeth over the head. He felt light headed as he rolled Eggsy's balls in his hands, feeling how heavy they were, ready to _breed_ him. God, imagining all that seed in him, making sure everyone knew who he belong to made Harry helplessly moan. He could feel how heavy his own sex was swinging between his legs. An itch inside him began to grow, he could feel his hole twitching, aching to be filled. Blindly he reached behind himself, moving the short curtails of his rode to find his hole, he circled his fingertip around it. Oh,  _God,_ he _was_ twitching.

Releasing Eggsy's sex with a pop, Eggsy groaned.

"Love," Eggsy panted, "Why'd you stop?"

"I got," Harry's fingers inched to his mouth. "I got to get myself ready."

"What--" Eggsy said confusedly.

Harry put his fingers in his mouth. He tried to get them as wet as possible, practically drenching them before he got too impatient. Popping them out his mouth he reached behind himself.

"Oh, darling," Eggsy breathed, rambled, "I won't touch you I promise. But can I talk? Please, darling, let me talk."

"O-Oh, okay," Harry's voice sounded small. He gasped when two of fingers entered him.

"Look at yourself, getting ready for me," Eggsy's voice was low and rough. Harry slowly began to thrust his two fingers into himself. "Do they know in Kingsmen? Do they know how they look as you finger yourself. Oh God, if they do I'll kill them." Eggsy gritted, knuckles white on the duvet. Harry suddenly floundered. Falling forward, forehead on the duvet, when his fingers tickled that spot inside of himself. "God, Harry! _You fucking tease_ ," obviously forcing himself to swallow, each word Eggsy spoke had a hint of a growl to it. Danger. "How many fingers are you going to do, darling? Two, Three? Well, I'll tell you now," a primal look crossed his face, "you'd better do four, because once I get my hands on you I am going to pound you until you can't even _walk_."

Harry could feel himself going crazy at Eggsy's words. He could feel himself fraying and succumbing to Eggsy's words. He could already see, _feel_ , Eggsy's "revenge" for Harry's wanton display. This play with danger had Harry tingling through his whole body, his sex was practically steel. Harry  _didn't want to stop_.

Swallowing Eggsy down again, triumphant from the curses that flew from Eggsy's mouth, Harry kept fingering himself as he worked Eggsy's sex. Every time Harry's fingers brushed against his prostate he would shudder to a stop, moaning around Eggsy's sex as Eggsy growled promises.

As Harry worked a third finger into himself Eggsy rumbled, "When we're done I am going to  _spank_ you."

"That's if you'll even be able to lift a finger when I'm done with you," Harry cheekily responded although his voice utterly wrecked.

"Darling," Eggsy snarled, "Don't bite off more than you can chew."

His voice ran though Harry's spine, making him shiver. He couldn't wait anymore.

Extracting his fingers and before Eggsy could react he scrambled up Eggsy's body, held up his sex, and sank onto it.

Eggsy _roared_.

Harry was boneless as that long length sank into him, the girth stretching him more than his four fingers ever could, his cock was  _longer_ than his fingers. He cried out as the length teasingly brushed against his prostate. When he reached the root, the heavy press of Eggsy's balls against him, he gave a tearless sob. He was so full. God he felt like was speared.

"Wait, wait," Harry gasped, sensing Eggsy about to speak.

Hands fluttered up and down his back before Harry pushed them away, "N-no touch. My turn."

Shuddering, he began to rock himself. Eggsy's sex igniting all the nerves in his passage and he gave quiet moans. Slowly gaining confidence he forced his thighs to lift him. God he almost had it, he could feel that spark of his prostate.

Unashamedly he began to bounce on Eggsy's prick. With each bounce he almost hit his prostate. But he couldn't force his muscles to work. Coordination quickly falling away from him as his need grew. Every time he almost lifted himself high enough to get that moment his muscles gave out. Frustration began to build in him as he worked himself on Eggsy's cock trying to reach that one spot. He could feel the sweat running down his face. Hear how he was gasping and panting over Eggsy. He couldn't string enough thought together to--

Forcing his eyes open. He reeled.

Eggsy looked like a _beast_. Staring at him expressionlessly, muscles taut. His eyes were hooded and they speared through Harry, pinning him to that spot. Gone was the teasing mask. All that was left was a savage that wanted to ravage and pillage. And all his focus was on  _Harry_.

Harry didn't even realize he had stuttered to a stop when hands flew onto his hips. Fingers going under his robe, digging into the meat his arse. Harry's head fell back as he gasped, "Ah!"

"Oh god, you were _completely_ naked this whole time under that?" Eggsy growled, fingers digging deeper, "No one can see you like this. Never. I won't let them."

"But-" a hand smacked his ass.

"No talking," Eggsy ordered. His hands running up into Harry's robe, "God, you've teased me so much, you little minx. _It's my turn._ " 

The robe was ripped off of Harry. Eggsy's hands fitted over his hips. Slowly he began to lift Harry up and down. Harry could only place his hands over Eggsy's and sob, his sex slapping against his stomach with each bounce.

"Such a good boy," Eggsy murmured. "Look at you, my submissive, so perfect, taking me so well." He had Harry bouncing over him again. On every downward stroke Eggsy slammed into Harry's prostate. Stars were flying behind his eyes, he was whiting out each time and Eggsy kept doing it again and _again_. Harry scrambled to wrap his arms around Eggsy's shoulders, moaning loudly each time he rammed into him. "My good boy is taking my cock so well, it was like you were made for this. You _are_ made for this because you're _mine._ " He ran his nails down Harry's back, making him scream. "You're so beautiful like this. I'll make you look like this everyday. Everyday I'll fill you like this and," his fingers fluttering around Harry's hole, touch where they were connected, "you'll always be leaking, you'll never be able to wash it out. I'll make you wear a butt plug so you'll never again be _empty_. God, I'm going to do it, plug you everyday so you'll always be ready and wet."

Harry keened at the idea of walking around feeling the solid weight of a butt plug, holding it all on for Eggsy, by Eggsy.

Pressing his lips to Harry's he forced his tongue into his mouth.

God. Eggsy was going to splinter his hips. Eggsy was practically lifting Harry off his prick before he slammed Harry down. Harry was only along for the ride. Their tongues were dancing, one of Eggsy's hands slid up his body to viciously twist one of his nipples. Harry was spiraling, twisting, falling, and he knew Eggsy had him. That he was ready to catch him.

This was what it meant to be a submissive: the trust that he was safe in these hands. Harry could let Eggsy take control over him and trust that he was going to keep him safe. The vision of Eggsy in that warehouse flashed through his mind. Eggsy was always going to come for him. He knew: this dominant could be trusted. This dominant was _his._ Sweet Eggsy, who was always so willing to let Harry hurt him, with rejection, with his past, before every hurting Harry. Harry had always drawn first blood.

But not anymore.  

Eggsy's smothering kisses, his hungry for Harry in this state, made Harry's defenses crack a little. He could hear a responding crack across all his defenses and then feel them crumble into sand, powerless against the typhoon that was Eggsy. Is Eggsy.

God, Harry had never felt so _good._ So _submissive._

Suddenly as Eggsy slammed Harry down he snapped his hips up at the same time. Harry broke their kiss, letting out a shrill  _squealed_. A hand in his hair forced him to meet ice blue.

"Come." And Harry did, bursting between them. Teeth sank into his throat before he felt his passage fill with seed till he was bursting.

Harry was still shaking from the after shocks as Eggsy flipped them over, grasped his ankles and spread his legs wide. Then he began to move again.

Laying there together that night, Eggsy' fingers plugging him, Eggsy's voice tight and small said, "Don't leave."

"I won't," Harry promised and meant it.

15.

(349 Days : 18 Hours : 18 Minutes : 07 Seconds since he's been shot

 261 Days : 13 Hours : 41 Minutes : 25 Seconds after he was taken)

  _The second genders of Dominant and Submissive are now to be recognized all across Europe and soon the very world. And together we will all work to make sure equality is championed as we all relearn who we are._

 

> _Address by the European Union._

 

 

 

 


End file.
